Doctrine of the Family

I recently picked up the February Ensign and read the article by Elder Cook entitled "The Doctrine of the Father". I love it! He beautifully discussed many things that I have been thinking about and seeking answers on. I love the quote below because truly emphasizes that ALL things created and instituted by God are for the express purpose of drawing us closer to Him. Here are a few of the quotes that have imprinted light into my soul.


1. "The purpose of all that the Father has revealed, commanded, and initiated for the inhabitants of earth is to help us come to know Him, emulate Him, and become like Him so we can return to His holy presence. Eternal life is to know the Father and His holy Son, Jesus Christ (see John 17:3; Jacob 4:5; Moses 5:8)."


When we live according to the divine pattern instated by God, we are blessed with the greatest blessing of all, to truly know God. That divine pattern is the pattern of the family. God himself lives this celestial family order. We eventually can become like him, so He has given us the opportunity to have a family and be apart of families here on earth. What a big stewardship! My husband puts it well when he says, "you can't learn how to play soccer by playing football." Likewise, we cannot learn to become Heavenly Fathers and Mothers if we are not living the pattern of Godhood here on this earth. 




2. "Central to knowing the Father is understanding the revealed pattern of family. The family is the most important unit in time and in eternity and is ordained of God.¹ Living in loving family relationships not only brings us great happiness, but it also helps us learn correct principles and prepares us for eternal life.² In addition, family relationships help us know, love, and understand the Father. " (emphasis added)


3."In God’s revealed pattern for righteous families, the birth of a child is the result of a conscious and loving choice. It is the miraculous result of caring and deliberate actions taken by parents to participate with Heavenly Father in the sacred process of creating a mortal body for one of His spirit children. Knowing that our life is the result of a loving choice and a deliberate act can give us a sense of our great personal worth in mortality. That sense of worth can reassure us of our potential and protect us from temptations." (emphasis added)


This goes hand in hand with what I have been studying about conscious conception, or intentional parenthood. There are actually physical, emotional, and spiritual implications that occur, positive, or negative, in the unborn child depending on how the parents conceived. I agree with Elder Cook that righteous parents do not postpone, hinder, or have 'accident' babies that come as a result to failed birth control. When we are consciously conceiving and turning our fertility over to the Lord, He blesses us and our families with a multiplicity of blessings. As mentioned in the family proclamation to the world, the means by which life is created is important to the Lord. This means how babies are conceived, carried, birthed, and raised are very important to our Heavenly Father. 


4." Righteous parents not only make deliberate and loving choices to bring children into the world, but they also prepare, pray, and eagerly wait during the period of gestation, anticipating the birth of their child. After birth they delight in holding, talking to, caring for, and protecting their child. They learn the baby’s individual patterns and needs. They know the child better than the child knows himself or herself. Regardless of the number of children parents have, each is an individual to them."


This statement combats a lot of the worlds beliefs about families that the more kids you have, the less love and attention they receive. I do not doubt that in some cases parents have failed in this regard, but Elder Cook firmly states that 'regardless of the number of children parents have, each is an individual to them." Parents, if close to the Lord, will receive direction and intimate guidance as to how each of their children need love and companionship. God cares about His children. Parents are doing the work of God, and are thereby entitled to receive His loving help and guidance. I truly believe that parents know the needs and wants of their children, and God can help them fulfill those needs and wants regardless if they have 2 kids or 12.


It is very important to have a testimony of the Doctrine of the Family and parenthood because not only do we need to defend it, but we can receive great blessings by doing so. 

5 Things for Friday, 1st Edition

*1*

I just finished this book... and I Loved it. I found it fascinating and it resonated truth.

I LOVE this excerpt from it....

"There once was a group of women studying the book of Malachi in the Old Testament. As they were studying chapter three, they came across verse 3, which says, "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver." This verse puzzled the women, and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God. Once of the women offered to find out about the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next bible study. 


"The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot-the she thought again about the verse, that he sits as a refiner and purifier of silver. She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined.


"The man answered "Yes", and explained that he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left even a moment too long in the flames, it would be damaged. 


"The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?"


"He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's easy. When I see my image in it."


"If today you are feeling the heat of the world's fire, just remember that God has His eyes on you."


***


This puts in context the scripture found in Alma 5:14

"And now behold, I ask of you, my brethren of the church, have ye spiritually been born of God? Have ye received His image in your countenances? Have ye experienced this mighty change in your hearts?"


Truly when we are put in that refiners fire we then are able to develop those God like attributes, as all the dross is burned out of our lives. Love it.

*2*

I have been thinking a lot about how I can strengthen my family. I have realized that I must know the threats to the family that are out there, so that our family can stay clear of those threats while seeking to defend the family on all walks of life. (This is in part why I started this blog). A careful study of the doctrines of the family can help focus our priorities and labors where they are needed most. We gain power when we KNOW these eternal doctrines. This quote helped put this into perspective...

"This generation will be called upon to defend the doctrine of the family as never before. If they don’t know the doctrine, they can’t defend it." Sister Julie Beck (Teaching the Doctrine of the Family)

*3*

President Ezra Taft Benson said...
“No more sacred word exists in secular or holy writ than that of mother. There is no more noble work than that of a good and God-fearing mother.”


Wow. This really hits home to me. The role of the mother is very very important. I never realized, until I became one myself! I can see how the adversary makes some of his biggest attacks directed at motherhood. These deceptions take on all different shapes and sizes. It makes me think of this wonderful post.

*4*

There are some super fun ideas on this blog of 100+ ways your family can make a difference. Go HERE to find out how!

*5*

I am getting pretty excited to go to the Lds Holistic Living Conference coming in June. I found their website a few months ago and have loved listening to some of the past conference downloads. I would highly recommend them. 

I love the conference because it helps families take charge of their health and lifestyle. And to me, nothing feels as good as having knowledge to help my family recover from illness, and avoid it all together! I truly believe when we gain knowledge the Holy Ghost can help direct us more easily to know how to bless our families. So, check this awesome conference out!

Guest Post: Parenting Interview & Tips for Raising A Righteous and Christ-like Family

This is a  FABULOUS article by my friend Hannah. We met when we were 17 at Snow College in the modern/ballet  Snow Dance Ensemble. We were instant friends, both home schooled/private schooled, and shared many of the same interests. She is now a midwife in AZ, and was actually the wonderful woman who inspired me to have a natural birth, (which by the way was absolutely beautiful:) She will be getting her mission call here very soon, so all you family oriented guys out there, when she is home act fast because she is going to get snatched up fast! (you will see why I say this after reading what she has studied!) This woman is headed places. She is most definitely a useful tool in the Lords hands, and as brought to pass much righteousness.  I absolutely love Hannah. Really she is an angel. I have never met anyone so willing to live the will of God. 
Enjoy!!

Hannah Dunford

November 14, 2011

Parenting Interview & Tips for

Raising A Righteous and Christ-like Family

{from an LDS perspective, intended for an LDS/Christian audience}

We all have parental influences of one kind or another, whether we wish to follow the examples they have laid for us or not. Yet, their attributes, character, and habits for better or for worse were imprinted on our very young and formative minds and this is something we must come to terms with. While at the same time realizing the grandeur of our current and/or future responsibilities of the parenting influences on the youth and children of this day and age (whether they are “our” children or not, we still influence them greatly). I realize that I have been raised in a family where love has never been restricted in the least bit, much the opposite in fact. The parenting and education methods may be different than that of most families. Of course we have had our struggles just like any other family, but there is a beautiful and strong bond within the walls of our home and I accredit this success largely to the wonderful approach my parents have taken. With this in mind and with the recent assignment from my church institute class to interview our parents and, their parenting styles, choices, how they started and how they've changed over the years, I have put this video interview and paper together. A brief overview of our interview will follow, but the bulk of the insights and answers to questions are held in the video itself, so if you have a moment, take a look at the video. There is wisdom in the words of those who have experienced much in the video interview. The remainder of this content will be things that I personally learned from the interview and words of the scriptures and LDS prophets and apostles (usually referred to as “Elder” so and so) on the divine topic of parenting.

A statement by Elder Bruce R. McConkie might give us a start into the depth and importance of marriage and family, particularly in the LDS religion.

“It follows that everything we have in the Church centers around celestial marriage, and that salvation is a family affair. . . . “. . . Thus the family unit is the most important organization in time or in eternity. “And thus we should have more interest in and concern for our families than for anything else in life. “Every major decision should be made on the basis of the effect it will have on the family unit. Our courtship, schooling, and choice of friends; our employment, hobbies, and place of residence; our social life, the organizations we join, and the service we render mankind; and above all, our obedience or the lack of it to the standards of revealed truth—all these things should be decided on the basis of their effect on the family unit. “There is nothing in this world as important as the creation and perfection of family units of the kind contemplated in the gospel of Jesus Christ” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1970, 27).[emphasis added]

President (aka Prophet) Spencer W. Kimball said that we agree with Swiss pedagogue and educational reformer Johann Heinrich Pestalozzi who stated:

“Our home joys are the most delightful earth affords, and the joy of parents in their children is the most holy joy of humanity. It makes their hearts pure and good. It lifts them up to their Father in Heaven.”

Tips for/Responsibilities of Parents Toward Each Other

As I was in the temple the other day, the temple President (President and Sister Baldwin) gave us some advice and insight into his now life and marriage and what has helped keep them together all of these years. He advised us to pray together daily with our spouse, he and his wife have prayed together, hand in hand every night (excusing only a few nights when extreme illness or other circumstances withheld them) for all of their married lives. He again reminded us of the importance of holding hands while praying, I thought that was special. This seems like a wonderful way to stay close with your spouse. I'm not sure if you stay angry at your husband/wife while they humbly pray for you and remind you of your divinity and how you bless there life immeasurably.

Weekly date nights and regular temple attendance must become a priority throughout your entire marriage. (This was brought to my attention by our lovely institute teacher, who does an incredible job of teaching and living these principles, thanks Sister Hastings!) A date does not have to be “going-out” or pricey, you can find thrifty and cleverly unique ways to spend time with each other away from the kids that will grow your affection and admiration for one another. Maybe date night and temple attendance can be done at the same time if time is an issue. President Ezra Taft Benson gave a bit of advice on temple attendance when he said:

“ As distances allow, regularly attend the temple with your wife. Your children will then better understand the importance of temple marriage and temple vows and the eternal family unit.”

A tip for peace in the marriage and family relationship focuses on a method for dealing with contention in the home. When issues do arise and contention strives to enter your home (and even before this point) you and your spouse must go to a personal place, behind closed doors, away from the children to discuss and work out these issues. Do not think that you can work out these issues in front of the children without damage. Contending in front of the children instills fear and confusion and damages their understanding of “mom and dads” role at their young and formative ages. We know that these disagreements arise, but how we deal with them is what makes all the difference. If we can take these “heated” discussions behind closed doors, or even save them for a later time (such as a weekly executive council with you and your spouse) and save the young child's mind from the evil intrusion of contention, fault-finding and the root of most disagreements, that being selfishness and pride; then we have done a much greater deed than that of finding immediate and hasty solutions to usually somewhat benign issues. In their formative years when they cannot yet fully comprehend good from bad, right from wrong doing, they see their parents as what is “good” or “normal”. The severity and longevity of this is far beyond our true comprehension. That being said they must only see the very best and moral nature and example from us in these years. You will see in their preoperational stage (age 2-7), “ in children's dramatic play, in which they try out the roles and behavior of their parents and other important people...”(Hoffnung, R.) exactly what they are learning from you. Before this time, they are just barely achieving object permanence, or the understanding that life, things and people continue, even when they cannot hear, see, touch, taste or smell them directly. We only begin to see the importance of our words and actions when we understand these basic principles of the gospel and childhood development. Elder Lasueur of the Quorom of the Seventy had a few bits of advice on how to keep this kind of peace in the home, and I paraphrase:

...Don't make a million dollar issue out of a fifty cent issue, sometimes a lot of fifty cent issues built up over time can feel like a million dollar issue, try to see them for what they really are...

...Whenever who is right becomes more important than what is right, [there is pride]...[sometimes] you can be right or you can be happy...the only time in my marriage when I was unhappy was when I wanted to be right... Whatever you do as parents, you work ten times harder to find what is right with your children, instead of what is wrong. You have no idea of the power behind this principle...”

Parental Accountability

A few quotes here to understand, even marginally, our immense accountability of the gift God has given all of us to rear and be a role to the rising generation.

Gordon B. Hinckley (Ensign, Conference Report, November 2002, p. 100):

“Let us work a little harder at the responsibility we have as parents. The home is the basic unit of society. The family is the basic organization of the Church. We are deeply concerned over the quality of the lives of our people as husbands and wives and as parents and children.

There is too much of criticism and faultfinding with anger and raised voices. The pressures we feel each day are tremendous. Husbands come home from their employment each day tired and short-tempered. Unfortunately, most of the wives work. They too face a serious challenge that may be more costly than it is worth. Children are left to seek their own entertainment, and much of it is not good.

My brothers and sisters, we must work at our responsibility as parents as if everything in life counted on it, because in fact everything in life does count on it...If we fail in our homes, we fail in our lives. No man is truly successful who has failed in his home. I ask you men, particularly, to pause and take stock of yourselves as husbands and fathers and heads of households. Pray for guidance, for help, for direction, and then follow the whisperings of the Spirit to guide you in the most serious of all responsibilities, for the consequences of your leadership in your home will be eternal and everlasting.”

Gordon B. Hinckley (Ensign, Conference Report, October 1968, p.56)

“From self the next step is the family. The Lord through revelation has laid upon parents the mandate to "teach their children to pray, and to walk uprightly before the Lord." (D&C 68:28.)

Fathers and mothers are needed who will rise and stand upon their feet to make of their homes sanctuaries in which children will grow in a spirit of obedience, industry, and fidelity to tested standards of conduct. If our society is coming apart at the seams, it is because the tailor and the seamstress in the home are not producing the kind of stitching that will hold under stress. In the name of giving advantages, we have too often bartered away the real opportunities of our children.”

Ezra Taft Benson (Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson, p. 499)

“Parents are directly responsible for the righteous rearing of their children, and this responsibility cannot be safely delegated to relatives, friends, neighbors, the school, the church, or the state.

Doctrine and Covenants Section 83 verse 4 states:

4. All children have claim upon their parents for their maintenance until they are of age.

Section 68:25-32

25 And again, inasmuch as parents have children in Zion, or in any of her stakes which are organized, that teach them not to understand the doctrine of repentance, faith in Christ the Son of the living God, and of baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of the hands, when eight years old, the sin be upon the heads of the parents.

26 For this shall be a law unto the inhabitants of Zion, or in any of her stakes which are organized.

27 And their children shall be baptized for the remission of their sins when eight years old, and r eceive the laying on of the hands.

28And they shall also teach their children to pray, and to walk uprightly before the Lord.

29 And the inhabitants of Zion shall also observe the Sabbath day to keep it holy.

30 And the inhabitants of Zion also shall remember their labors, inasmuch as they are appointed to labor, in all faithfulness; for the idler shall be had in remembrance before the Lord.

31 Now, I, the Lord, am not well pleased with the inhabitants of Zion, for there are idlersamong them; and their children are also growing up in wickedness; they also seek not earnestly the riches of eternity, but their eyes are full of greediness.

32 These things ought not to be, and must be done away from among them;

Tips for/Roles of Mother

Some thoughts, quotes and scriptures for mother. Our sweet former Prophet Ezra Taft Benson had dear and true things to say about mothers.

“No more sacred word exists in secular or holy writ than that of mother. There is no more noble work than that of a good and God-fearing mother.”

President David O. McKay declared:

“ Motherhood is the greatest potential influence either for good or ill in human life. The mother's image is the first that stamps itself on the unwritten page of the young child's mind... Motherhood consists of three principal attributes or qualities: namely, (1) the power to bear, (2) the ability to rear, (3) the gift to love... she who rears successfully a family of healthy, beautiful sons and daughters, whose influence will be felt through generations to come,... deserves the highest honor that man can give, and the choicest blessings of God...”

President Spencer W. Kimball:

“ No career approaches in importance that of wife, homemaker, mother--cooking meals, washing dishes, making beds for one's precious husband and children. Come home, wives, to your husbands. Make home a heaven for them. Come home, wives, to your children, born and unborn. Wrap the motherly cloak about you and, unembarrassed, help in a major role to create the bodies for the immortal souls who anxiously await.”

Joseph F. Smith (Gospel Doctrine, 16:288-289):

“Motherhood lies at the foundation of happiness in the home, and of prosperity in the nation. God has laid upon men and women very sacred obligation with respect to motherhood, and they are obligations that cannot be disregarded without invoking divine displeasure.”

Sister Julie B. Beck spoke of “Mothers Who Know” in the 2007 General Conference. She mentioned seven things that mothers who know, do, (1)they bear children, (2)they honor sacred ordinances and covenants, (3)they are nurturers, (4)they are leaders, (5)they are teachers, (6)they do less, and (7)they stand strong and immovable.

In the interview my mother made a few comments, bits of wonderful advice from years of experience. When reminiscing on the early years of marriage and parenthood, she noted that they (mother and father) had felt strongly directed and prompted by the Spirit on when they should have children and how to rear them. Things such as family prayer, scripture study, family home evening, homeschooling, and the appropriate amount of sheltering/protecting verses socializing. One regret they had was that they did not stick more strongly to how they had been led to raise a family in the beginning. Influences from family, friends and peers pressured them to sway in one direction or another. Never far from gospel principles, but away from what they had known and been guided to do. Some of the essentials suffered when they tried to do things the “system” or “worldly” way. Though she never needed to work, at one point my mother chose to work “from out of the home”. She regretted this and she felt like it kept her mind off of what is most important and that some of the kids lost foundational ground and suffered from that. After some of these and other roller coasters, I asked how mother “brought the kids back home?” spiritually speaking. She answered saying that you must teach them correct principles (as the Prophet Joseph Smith exhorts), then let them have their agency and find out for themselves if it/what is true. Agency is/can be messy, it's a leap of faith, but you must let them gain their own testimony, she said. Stay close to them, she advised, your are their friend, remember that Satan is the enemy, not you, stay connected with them. In closing she encouraged us (us being those preparing for marriage/family) to seek for principles, when you are first married, by which you want to raise your family, then stick with them. Be open to revelation and to changes or shifting of your plans, stay confident in the Lords teachings and don't be swayed by man or worldly desires. She quoted Julie B. Beck saying, “When your priorities are out of focus you lose power.” There will be many good things that will vy for your time, you must stick to the basics, stay in the home and don't justify anything else. These are wise words of wisdom from a loving mother. How grateful I am to have a loving mother who's greatest desire it has always been, to be purified, sanctified and unified with the Lord and His will. She has understood me and loved me in ways that no one else could, she has taught me the meaning of home and love and to her I will be forever indebted, my angel mother.

I'll end this section with ten suggestions from President Benson's talk “To the Mothers In Zion” (this is only a partial list, the full list and talk can be found at this link http://fc.byu.edu/jpages/ee/w_etb87.htm ):

“With love in my heart for the mothers in Zion, I would now like to suggest ten specific ways our mothers may spend effective time with their children.

First, take time to always be at the crossroads when your children are either coming or going--when they leave and return from school--when they leave and return from dates--when they bring friends home. Be there at the crossroads whether your children are six or sixteen. In Proverbs we read: "A child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame" (Proverbs 29:15). Among the greatest concerns in our society are the millions of latchkey children who come home daily to empty houses unsupervised by working parents.

Second, mothers, take time to be a real friend to your children. Listen to your children, really listen... Yes, regularly spend unrushed one-on-one time with each child.

Third, mothers, take time to read to your children. Starting from the cradle, read to your sons and daughters... You will plant a love for good literature and a real love for the scriptures if you will read to your children regularly.

Fourth, take time to pray with your children. Family prayers, under the direction of the father, should be held morning and night...

Fifth, take time to have a meaningful weekly home evening. With your husband presiding, participate in a spiritual and an uplifting home evening each week. Have your children actively involved. Teach them correct principles...

Sixth, take time to be together at mealtimes as often as possible. This is a challenge as the children get older and lives get busier. But happy conversation, sharing of the day's plans and activities, and special teaching moments occur at mealtime because mothers and fathers and children work at it.

Seventh, take time daily to read the scriptures together as a family. Individual scripture reading is important, but family scripture reading is vital...

Eighth, take time to do things together as a family. Make family outings and picnics and birthday celebrations and trips special times and memory builders... Mothers who help families pray and play together will stay together and will bless children's lives forever.

Ninth, mothers, take time to teach your children. Catch the teaching moments. This can be done anytime during the day--at mealtime, in casual settings, or at special sit-down times together, at the foot of the bed at the end of the day, or during an early morning walk together. Mothers, you are your children's best teacher. Don't shift this precious responsibility to day-care centers or babysitters. A mother's love and prayerful concern for her children are her most important ingredients in teaching her own... Teach your sons and daughters modesty and teach them to respect manhood and womanhood. Teach your children sexual purity, proper dating standards, temple marriage, missionary service, and the importance of accepting and magnifying Church callings... Teach them a love for work and the value of a good education. Teach them the importance of the right kind of entertainment, including appropriate movies, and videos, and music, and books, and magazines. Discuss the evils of pornography and drugs and teach them the value of living the clean life. Yes, mothers, teach your children the gospel in your own home, at your own fireside. This is the most effective teaching that your children will ever receive. This is the Lord's way of teaching. The Church cannot teach like you can. The school cannot. The day-care center cannot. But you can, and the Lord will sustain you. Your children will remember your teachings forever, and when they are old, they will not depart from them. They will call you blessed--their truly angel mother. Mothers, this kind of heavenly, motherly teaching takes time--lots of time. It cannot be done effectively part time. It must be done all the time in order to save and exalt your children. This is your divine calling.

Tenth and finally, mothers, take the time to truly love your children. A mother's unqualified love approaches Christlike love.”

Tips for/Roles of Father

Harold B. Lee (In Conference Report, April 1973, p.130)

“The greatest of the Lord’s work you brethren will ever do as fathers will be within the walls of your own home.”

Spencer W. Kimball (Father, Consider Your Ways, pamphlet, 1973, p. 4-5):

“Fatherhood is leadership--the most important kind of leadership. It has always been so; it will always be so. Father, with the assistance and counsel and encouragement of your eternal companion, you preside in the home. It is not a matter of whether you are the most worthy or the most qualified, but it is a matter of law and appointment. You preside at the meal table, at family prayer. You preside at family home evening. And, as guided by the Spirit of the Lord, you see that your children are taught correct principles. It is your place to give direction relating to all of family life. You give fathers’ blessings. You take an active part in establishing family rules and disciplining. As a leader in your home, you plan and sacrifice to achieve the blessing of a unified and happy family. To do all of this requires that you live a family-centered life.”

Ezra Taft Benson (Ensign, Conference Report, November 1987, p. 48-51):

“A father’s duty is to make his home a place of happiness and joy. He cannot do this when there is bickering, quarreling, contention, or unrighteous behavior. The powerful effect of righteous fathers in setting an example, disciplining and training, nurturing and loving is vital to the spiritual welfare of his children...Remember your sacred calling as a father in Israel---your most important calling in time and eternity---a calling from which you will never be released.”

Ephesians 6:4

4. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Elder Lasueur of the Seventy spoke to fathers (and mothers)of gaining joy in the marriage relationship in this last Stake Conference (October, 2011, Show Low, AZ) and I paraphrase:

“...the only way your needs can be met is by meeting hers [or his], when her [or his] needs become more important to you than any earthly thing, then you will wake-up and find you are in paradise...” He continued and said that no one cannot know or feel this and no one can fail to respond to it.

My father had some wonderful advice to give in the interview, I'll comment on just a few of those things here, the rest is in the video. He made a commitment to my mother before they were married that he would work however hard he needed to in order to keep my mother at home with the kids. He kept this promise, my mother never had to go out and work, even in the beginning when he was working 3 jobs and doing full-time school. He said he felt a strong desire to work and study even harder because they followed the counsel to not postpone having children and he felt that inward fatherly duty to provide for his new small family. He said about those early years, ”They were the best of times and we had nothing.” A couple of books they found along the way that helped their parenting and his marriage and family counseling practice were, Christ-Like Parenting by Glenn Latham and The Bonds That Make Us Free, by C. Terry Warner. He admonished to be consistent! As Julie B Beck stated, “we must be brilliant in the basics.” He said to start now, even if you have lost some ground/time. In closing he encourages us to firstly, gain a close relationship with our Father in Heaven, be close and connect with your children, play with them, talk with them, be their friend. Know how and where to get answers from, namely the Lord/prayer and scriptures. He states that, Father and mother is our eternal calling and it is our responsibility to get our family back home to our loving God. As his daughter, I am so grateful for his fun and loving parenting, his openness and freely giving of his love has been a blessing in many ways in my life. I hope that all men can see the priceless gift they can potentially give to their daughters, simply by loving them fully and holding nothing back.

Now I will close this section with ten suggestions from President Benson given in the talk, “To Fathers In Zion” (the full talk can be found at this link http://lds.org/ensign/1987/11/to-the-fathers-in-israel?lang=eng ):

“With love in my heart for the fathers in Israel, may I suggest ten specific ways that fathers can give spiritual leadership to their children:

1. Give father’s blessings to your children. Baptize and confirm your children. Ordain your sons to the priesthood. These will become spiritual highlights in the lives of your children.
2. Personally direct family prayers, daily scripture reading, and weekly family home evenings. Your personal involvement will show your children how important these activities really are.
3. Whenever possible, attend Church meetings together as a family. Family worship under your leadership is vital to your children’s spiritual welfare.
4. Go on daddy-daughter dates and father-and-sons’ outings with your children. As a family, go on campouts and picnics, to ball games and recitals, to school programs, and so forth. Having Dad there makes all the difference.
5. Build traditions of family vacations and trips and outings. These memories will never be forgotten by your children.
6. Have regular one-on-one visits with your children. Let them talk about what they would like to. Teach them gospel principles. Teach them true values. Tell them you love them. Personal time with your children tells them where Dad puts his priorities. (PPI's- Deuteronomy 11:19)
7. Teach your children to work, and show them the value of working toward a worthy goal. Establishing mission funds and education funds for your children shows them what Dad considers to be important.
8. Encourage good music and art and literature in your homes. Homes that have a spirit of refinement and beauty will bless the lives of your children forever.
9. As distances allow, regularly attend the temple with your wife. Your children will then better understand the importance of temple marriage and temple vows and theeternal family unit.
10. Have your children see your joy and satisfaction in service to the Church. This can become contagious to them, so they, too, will want to serve in the Church and will love the kingdom.”

Fortifying the Home

The sixth and seventh paragraphs of The Family, A Proclamation to the World speak of the basic fortifying principles for mothers and fathers of a Christ-Like home:

“HUSBAND AND WIFE have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.

THE FAMILY is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.”

Gordon B. Hinckley, Thomas S. Monson, James E. Faust (First Presidency Letter, 11 February 1999):

“We counsel parents and children to give highest priority to family prayer, family home evening, gospel study and instruction, and wholesome family activities. However worthy and appropriate other demands or activities may be, they must not be permitted to displace the divinely-appointed duties that only parents and families can adequately perform.”

Spencer W. Kimball:

“Words of modern prophets deserve study. No father, no son, no mother, no daughter should get so busy that he or she does not have time to study the scriptures and the words of modern prophets. None of us should get so busy that we crowd out contemplation and praying.”

Spencer W. Kimball (Ensign, Conference Report, November 1977, p. 4):

  

“Regarding our home evenings, an evening home with the family or an evening out to some place of interest with your family only partly solves the need of the home evening. Basically important is the teaching of the children the way of life that is vitally important. Merely going to a show or a party together, or fishing, only half satisfies the real need, but to stay home and teach the children the gospel, the scriptures, and love for each other and love for their parents is most important.”

Howard W. Hunter (Ensign, Conference Report, November 1994, p. 51):

“As patriarch in the home, exercise your priesthood through performing the appropriate ordinances for your family and by giving blessings to your wife and children. Next to your own salvation, brethren, there is nothing so important to you as the salvation of your wife and children.”

Elder Douglas L. Callister of the Seventy (June Ensign 2009):

“If we could part the veil and observe our heavenly home, we would be impressed with the cultivated minds and hearts of those who so happily live there. I imagine that our heavenly parents are exquisitely refined. In this great gospel of emulation, one of the purposes of our earthly probation is to become like them in every conceivable way so that we may be comfortable in the presence of heavenly parentage and, in the language of Enos, see their faces “with pleasure” (Enos 1:27).

President Brigham Young (1801–77) said, “We are trying to be the image of those who live in heaven; we are trying to pat[t]ern after them, to look like them, to walk and talk like them.” 1 I would like to peek behind the veil that temporarily separates us from our heavenly home and paint a word picture of the virtuous, lovely, and refined circumstances that exist there... Even more, may we become worthy to enjoy the refined society of heavenly parentage, for we are of the race of the Gods, being “children of the most High” (Psalm 82:6). One of the purposes of our earthly probation is to become like our heavenly parents in every conceivable way so that we may be comfortable in their presence. The nearer we get to God, the more easily our spirits are touched by refined and beautiful things.”

In closing I will quote President Boyd K Packer on the beauties and mysteries of our truly divine roles as parents in the Kingdom of God...

“If you are reverent and prayerful and obedient, the day will come when there will be revealed to you why the God of heaven has commanded us to address him as Father, and the Lord of the Universe as Son. Then you will have discovered the pearl of great price spoken of in the scriptures and willingly go and sell all that you have that you might obtain it.

“The great plan of happiness (see Alma 42:8, 16) revealed to prophets is the plan for a happy family. It is the love story between husband and wife, parents and children, that renews itself through the ages” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1995, 8–9; or Ensign, May 1995, 9).”

References

• A link to “The Family: A Proclamation to the World”--the views and belief system surrounding the family according to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints— http://lds.org/Static%20Files/PDF/Manuals/TheFamily_AProclamationToTheWorld_35538_eng.pdf
• Hoffnung, R. Seifert, K. Child and Adolescent Development. 1991 Houghton Mifflin Company.
• Benson, President Ezra Taft:

“To the Mothers in Zion” 22 February 1987, retrieved from http://fc.byu.edu/jpages/ee/w_etb87.htm

“To the Fathers in Israel” November 1987, retrieved from http://lds.org/ensign/1987/11/tothe-fathers-in-israel?lang=eng

• Church Educational System. Eternal Marriage Student Manual. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter- day Saints, Salt Lake City, Utah. 2001 Intellectual Reserve Inc. Retrieved from http://www.ldsces.org/inst_manuals/marriage35311000/Selections/Not_Indexed/Marriage35311000_02.pdf
• Strong Kirk and Karen (Compiled by,). His Servants Voice. Copyright 2004
  
  

U.N., and Other Threats to the Family Unit

Henry B. Eyring ("The Family," Ensign, Feb. 1998, p. 10)
"The family unit is fundamental not only to society and to the church but to our hope for eternal life."


Dallin H. Oaks ("Why We must Act to Preserve the Families of the World," World Family Policy Forum, Jan 1999)
"I am grateful that some watchmen on the tower have alerted us to enemies and conditions that threaten to undermine the family, which is the foundation of societies and nations in every part of the world. Ironically, some of these enemies are working through the United Nations and using its stature and authority on the world stage to pursue anti family efforts that must be of concern to all of us."


Ezra Taft Benson (An Enemy Hath Done This, p. 201)
"After many years of observing the U.N. in operation, after carefully researching the less publicized aspects of this organization, and after a great deal of soul-searching, I reluctantly have been forced to the conclusion that the U.N.'s potential for evil far outweighs its potential for good." 


Family Action Council International (FACI: An Introduction)
"The mission of Family Action Council International is to promote measures designed to maintain and strengthen family as the fundamental unit of society."
"At the conference, attendees heard presentations from a wide variety of social workers, sociologist, political leaders, humanitarians, religious leaders, and other scholars-all concerned for the future of family in their respective nations and throughout the world. 
"In addition to hearing these timely and eternal truths about the family, those in attendance also learned of the war being waged by organizations at the United Nations to persuade that body to adopt international policies, programs, and treaties to promote, among other things, 


    *abortion-in particular, state funded abortions, even in those countries where it is now legal, and including abortions for minors with out parental interference. 


    *Recognition of same-sex unions, to include the ' reproductive right' to artificial insemination for lesbian couples.


    *the decriminalization of prostitution, to include government-funded medical and retirement benefits for what advocates now call workers in the sex trade; and

    *mandatory quotas for the percentage of women working in government (50% of all civilian positions in national, state, and local governments to be women; 35% of all military positions).


"...in 1946, at the U.N. Commission on the Status of Women...(it was) proclaimed that the concept of the traditional family should be replaced by a new social model, one in which women would stand by men "as comrades" and children would become the responsibility of the state. ..(It) advocated loosening anti-abortion laws, making contraception readily available, including sex education as part of the regular school curriculum, enforcing population limits, and eliminating the legal distinctions between married and unmarried adults."
"Perhaps the most significant anti-family policy to date is the 1979 Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination Against Women...The U.N. established a committee that regularly reviews the extent to which governments are implementing the terms of the convention. While some of the CEDAW's Goals are sound (such as securing a woman's right to vote and freedom from employment discrimination), its primary focus is the reconstruction of sex roles or,...gender mainstreaming." 


Dallin H. Oaks, ("Why We Must Act to Preserve the Families of the World," World Family Policy Forum, Jan 1999)
"Threats to the Family"
"As Church leaders we have observed many worldwide trends and conditions that threaten the traditional family.."
    1. As a result of increase in divorce and separation, the traditional two parent family is decreasing as the setting within which most children are raised. 
    2. Increasing numbers of women are working outside of the home and devoting less attention to their responsibilities as mothers.
    3. As more and more people travel great distances to enjoy flexibility in where they reside, extended families are scattered and the nurturing and disciplining roles of grandparents, aunts and uncles are felt by a smaller portion of children. 
    4. The network of mothers who kept an eye on one another's children in a tight knit community is likewise weakening. 
    5. The competitive demands of a variety of community and school activities weaken family activities and togetherness. 
    6. Current attempts to redefine the family by treaty or law to include everyone who has keys to the same house threaten to dilute the legal concept of family beyond the point where it merits special protection." 

15 Year Old Boy Reprimanded for Supporting Traditional Family

This is awesome! It would take guts to stick up for the family the way this young man did! It is quite sad that he got in trouble for speaking what he believed. It was simply an editorial in the school paper for goodness sake! Have we really come to this? Check it out. It definitely inspired me to be more focused on supporting the family.

http://www.deseretnews.com/article/700219619/Boy-15-reprimanded-for-backing-traditional-family-in-school-paper.html?pg=1&s_cid=s10

Elder Scott said:


"As an exceptional son or daughter of God, you are sorely needed. There is an urgent need for more men and women like you who will stand for principles against growing pressures to compromise. Men and women are needed who will act nobly and courageously for what the Lord has defined as right-not for what is politically correct or socially acceptable. We need individuals who have the spiritual, righteous influence that will motivate others to live honorably. We need statesmen who act with integrity, businessmen who are honest and morally clean, attorneys who defend justice and the legal system, and government officials who preserve principle because it is right. Above all, we need mothers and fathers who will preserve the sanctity and safety of the home and the integrity of the family in which faith in God and obedience to His commandments are taught as the foundation of a productive life."